Bar fuel …

Slightly less important than what you’re drinking, but slightly more important than those nuts you really shouldn’t be eating … god knows how old they are … anyways, I seem to have lost my point. Oh yeah …

So what are your arguments at the bar? Your buddy is bringing some weak shit in his NBA talk, and you need something to come back with. But you’re probably too drunk to remember anything more than a few simple stats …

Fun facts about how much better the Western Conference is than the Eastern Conference:

1. Boston has a bigger lead on the 2nd seed, Detroit, than the Lakers have on the 8th seed, Golden State

2. 9th seed Denver would currently be running 4th in the East, with a game and a half to spare over Cleveland

3. 5th seed Toronto trails Boston by 17 and a half games, a full game more than Sacramento trails the number one team in the West, the Lakers

4. Golden State has 40 wins, meaning that they could win only 4 more games and finish 44-38. Eastern 8th seed, New Jersey, would have to win their remaining 17 games to reach that record.

5. Miami, currently so far out of the reach of the playoffs that their players are waiting for the NIT selection show, ISN’T TECHNICALLY OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS IN THE EAST. They certainly would be in the West; in fact, a team with nearly twice as many wins as the Heat will probably be the fourth team in the West to lose all mathematical hope of the second season after Golden State abuses Phoenix tonight.

6. The West has twice as many teams with winning records (10) than the East (5).

7. Boston is one game away from clinching their division. Detroit has 6 games, Orlando 8. In the West, Utah has a 4 game lead, the Lakers 3, and don’t even get me started on the Southwest. New Orleans is a half game away from being in a three-way tie with Houston and San Antonio for the lead of that ridiculous division. And Dallas trails the lead by only two and a half games. And mind you, these are all teams with records of .683 or better.

8. Speaking of winning teams, there isn’t a division in the East that has more than two of them. Each division in the West has at least three.

There, that should be good. Just remember who gave you the good word …

Lysol

P.S. Look for the first edition of Lysol’s Danger Rankings!  Coming this Sunday once all the games of the day are finished …

Around the rim

Photo: (AFP/Getty Images/Jay Directo)

One of the reasons I don’t buy the Utah Jazz is that they’re wretched on the road (14-19), and they lived up to their record by losing to the Bulls last night. Over on BlogaBull, a commenter sums up the game nicely.

Last night we were killing the Jazz in transition in the first half. They can run, yet prefer the half court set on offense, but they don’t defend the transition very well. Okur is slow. Boozer isn’t a solid defender so he fouls to stop breaks. There bench really drops off in transition defense. Kirilenko and Brewer are the only guys that can really defend the transition on a consistent basis.

Of course, you can’t even exploit the transition without solid defense. Defense is crucial, but the scouting on the Jazz is wear them out after getting defensive stops so they are too tired to effectively employ their offensive transition. Wearing them out will force them to fall in love with the half court set. The more half court sets they run the greater the rate of turnovers.

Sports by Brooks says Steve Nash doesn’t really care if wins an NBA title. I really hate it when athletes say that. On one level, you understand that some players just want to have fun and CTC. But god damned it, don’t tell me that. Lie to me Nash, lie to me.

The Celtics blog shows Paul Pierce some love, and Garnett says P-squared is the MVP.

The Sonics aren’t getting much state love to keep them in Seattle.

My folks live near Houston, and they’re saying there’s a palpable buzz about these Rockets as the chase their 20th consecutive win. It’s really amazing to have a team run by Skip to my Lou blazing through the league. Say what you will about the weak schedule, it still takes some heart to win every night. Of course, Lysol still has them dropping in the first round.

It looks like Andrew Bynum is making some positive steps towards returning, thanks to an “anti-gravity” treadmill. If you’re curious, you can pick one of those up here.

- I’ll try and not rip off Truehoop’s format too often, drop us a line at str8balling AT gmail DOT com

- Marin

Western Conference 1st round …

(1) Lakers vs. ( Suns: The Mamba licks his lips as he realizes that he won’t even have to personally embarrass Shaq in this series. All he has to do is sit back and watch Bynum draw a foul on O’Neal every minute he’s in the game. That being said, this series won’t be easy. Look for Raja Bell to cry like a baby as Kobe breaks Jordan’s single game scoring record in game 4 after the Suns sneak by the Show in game 3. That breaks the camel’s back, and Shaq mumbles indecipherable inanities as he slowly retreats into the sunset. Lakers in 5.

(2) Spurs vs. (7) Mavericks: These teams are too familiar with each other to come to a sweep, right? Wrong. Avery Johnson gets his deer-in-the-headlights look as all three of the Spurs top guys drop 30 points in the first game. Parker lets more tongue-in-cheek insults about the Kidd trade after this one is out of reach. The only real question is who will get their ankles broken first: Kidd by Parker, or Stackhouse by Ginobili? Repeat after me: you don’t get better by getting older. Trust me, I watched the Payton and Malone-infused Lakers stumble, and if they couldn’t do it, neither can these cats. Sweep! Spurs in 4.

(3) Hornets vs. (6) Warriors: For my money, the best game of the first round. Chris Paul and Baron Davis remind us all that this is a point guard’s league now that they changed the illegal defense rule and eliminated hand-checking on the perimeter. Neither team can pull off more than two wins in a row, so this instant classic goes to 7. But Golden State goes cold at the worst time, and Chris Paul earns his first-team All NBA defensive honors by shutting down Monta Ellis when it counts. Hornets in 7.

(4) Jazz vs. (5) Rockets: Did I say the last series was going to be the most exciting? Well, yes, and I stand by it, but here’s why: I have Houston slumping into the playoffs. No way they’re going to keep up this streak, what goes up must come down. Only six of their current winning streak occurred on the road, and they have to finish with 7 out of 10 on the road. Slippage. Infighting. Did I mention I have Dikembe going out with an injury? Oh yeah: I have Dikembe going down with an injury. So give me your Scola and Landry all you want, this team will be a far cry from a title contender by the time they hit the playoffs. They take out Utah in game 2 off of a ridiculous game from McGrady, and start the series 3-1. Wait a minute, you say. I’ve heard this one before. McGrady up 3-1 in the first round of the playoffs. Surely, Lysol, you ain’t suggestin’ that he fucks it up again? I’m afraid that’s precisely what I’m suggestin’. Only this time, McGrady doesn’t jinx himself on TNT in an interview beforehand. Jazz in 7.

-Lysol

P.S.  stay tuned for my analysis of the NBA.com Dance Team Bracket.  My money is on the Honey Bees.

Lysol’s final standings

Without further ado, the East …

1. Boston Celtics (66-16)

2. Detroit Pistons (62-20)

3. Orlando Magic (53-29)

4. Cleveland Cavaliers (50-32)

5. Toronto Raptors (45-37)

6. Philadelphia 76ers (40-42)

7. Washington Wizards (39-43)

8. Atlanta Hawks (37-47)

I have the Bulls finishing one game out, and the Bobcats and Nets two games out. Better luck next year!
And the West …

1. Los Angeles Lakers (60-22)

2. San Antonio Spurs (59-23)

3. New Orleans Hornets (58-24)

4. Utah Jazz (55-27)

5. Houston Rockets (54-2

6. Golden State Warriors (53-29)

7. Dallas Mavericks (52-30)

8. Phoenix Suns (52-30)

I have Denver tied with both the Mavericks and Suns, but losing out on tiebreakers. Ooh, soooooo clooooose …

Stay tuned for first round matchups!