This has nothing to do with hoops, but I’m sick of hitting Digg’s front page and seeing “Top Ten something something” with 800 diggs from Cracked.com.

The writing’s awful for the most part, and you’re just feeding the addiction.

And yeah, this isn’t a well-written post, and I don’t care. I just know I’m tired of seeing the same things on the front page.

Ran across this map the other day over at the strangemaps blog and immensely enjoyed it.

Apparently, Luda’s big in Nebraska.

With a league that is transitioning from a post-dominated game (Shaq, Duncan) to a point-dominated game (Nash, Paul), it’s important to have someone who can control the game at both parts of the floor.  Having a Kobe or T-Mac is great, but since neither one of them can guard the elite point guards, having an unstoppable one affects the game in an increasingly important way.  Maybe if they go back to the illegal defense, hand-checking NBA of the 90’s, Dwight Howard and Yao Ming would be able to do it themselves.  But until then, give me these five combos:

1.  Tony Parker and Tim Duncan.  Tony Parker is still the hardest point guard in the league to stop defensively, and Tim Duncan gets votes for best at his position EVER.  Watching Tony Parker is watching a renaissance of the floater, and I swear I saw Duncan admit that he committed a foul in the Celtics game.  There’s a reason these guys have all of those rings, and it’s not the clutch shooting of Kerr and Horry.  Duncan never leaves his feet defensively unless he gets the block, and Parker gets inside the restricted area better than anyone his size that I can remember.  Kevin Johnson and John Stockton think this guy’s quick.

2.  Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer.  Williams is just bullying the rest of the league at his position.  He gets wherever he wants to go, and if that’s a fadeaway from ten feet, then it’s going in.  Boozer is intimidating, and at this point I would take his raw physicality for Amare’s speed-power combo.  He can body up on bigger players on defense when he has to, and his spin moves remind me of Shaq when he was fast enough to pull them off.

3.  Steve Nash and Amare Stoudamire.  Amare is the biggest benefactor of the Marion-for-Shaq trade.  Seeing him drive the ball from the perimeter is scary.  Nash hasn’t been hurt by Shaq’s size in the paint as much as by his velocity.  If Shaq had a little bit of speed left, he could get out of the way and into the right spot for a quick dish-and-dunk.  But Nash will figure out how to use him as an obstruction and we’ll see a lot more players running face first into the big fella and hitting the floor.  The little guy always finds a way.

4.  Chris Paul and David West.  Paul might be the only player that is overrated by people that have never seen him play.  That’s not to say he’s overrated; they just don’t know why he’s so good.  It’s the defense that puts him ahead.  If I got my pick of players to match up with Parker, I’d pick Paul.  For every two or three times Parker blows by Paul, Paul will pick him once and take it to the hoop.  I hope he gets healthy so we can see just how much he’ll step it up in the playoffs.  David West is a hard player to read because Paul makes everyone around him look good.  But this guy has a great mid-range game and the ability to sky to the rim for rebounds.

5.  Chauncey Billups and Rasheed Wallace.  As always, these guys can be anywhere in this top five on a given night.  I was shocked at how poorly Billups played in last year’s playoffs., but he’s getting a little more rest down the stretch and that should pay off.  His big-shot potential is higher than all of the guys above him, and he’ll win a three-point contest against any of them every day of the week.  Wallace is barely a post player, considering that by my standards Dirk isn’t one at all.  Wallace loves to hang out at the three point line, and it’s not like he can’t drill it from there consistently.  With his size, I’d like to see him in the paint contesting rebounds and drawing the box-outs that allow Billups and Hamilton to knife into the paint and pick up the offensive rebound.  His back-to-the-basket skills have declined since the day he was giving Shaq as good he was getting, but he still takes it strong when his coach asks him politely.  Which is good, because in the playoffs, “Both teams play(ed) hard.”

This isn’t the list of the best teams in the NBA. Or the hottest teams currently (although that is a mild predictor in the factoring of these rankings). These are the teams that scare you, or should. Hope to God that these teams are in the other conference, or at least on the other side of the brackets. Here we go:

1. San Antonio Spurs. It’s not the “they’re the champs until someone beats them” argument. These guys have no remorse in the playoffs, and it doesn’t take long for them to get in your head. Since 2003 they’ve knocked off the Nuggests twice, Suns thrice, Jazz, Lakers, and Mavericks. The Lakers and Mavs returned the favor, but I can’t say I would take either one of them in a seven game series. And Houston, New Orleans and Golden State have one to two clutch players each, not enough to do any damage.

2. Detroit Pistons. When Jarvis Hayes is putting up those kind of points, what are you going to do? The team chemistry in Detroit is always a big deal, but it’s the additions they’ve made since their last championship that make them dangerous. Did you see Maxiel’s block on Tyson Chandler? Their bench is deep, and if Rasheed Wallace decides he gives a shit …

3. Houston Rockets. Now, I’m still not necessarily sold on this team’s streak. The next two games will go far to show what kind of team they are. But if they can keep the spirit of the streak alive, they’ll take you to seven before they cry uncle. Rafer’s flying under the radar in a point guard-driven conference, and Shane Battier is getting my vote for first team All-NBA defensively. But when Deke breaks down, we’ll see how tough this team can stay in the paint.

4. Boston Celtics. Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett may be walking wounded into the playoffs, but they won’t really be challenged until the Conference Finals anyway. Like Detroit, their forwards off of the bench allow a host of options and matchups on both sides of the ball. Abdominal strains are always a nagging bitch, but who knows? Maybe KG is in that much better shape that Shaq that everyday lugging doesn’t hurt as badly.

5. Los Angeles Lakers. Injuries have decimated this team all year, so it really shouldn’t have come as any surprise that Pau Gasol got hurt. It doesn’t help that Luke Walton has forgotten how to pass the ball. They’re currently running with a front court of three power forwards and DJ Mbenga. But their shooting will get back to its previous level, and if Bynum comes back healthy … a big if that may take even longer to resolve.

6. Utah Jazz. The Kyle Korver trade couldn’t have worked better. If they can get anyone else to hit outside shots consistently, then this team can be unstoppable. Mehmet Okur is finally playing like a Jerry Sloan big man, throwing elbows, illegal screens and generally abusing littler players that invade the paint. Boozer doesn’t ever get out of the first quarter of a game before the announcer says “Gee, Johnny, can you imagine if he had stayed in Cleveland. Wow.” Too bad for LBJ, because Carlos is in a much better situation: on a team that can play defense, with a legitimate point guard to hook him up.

7. Cleveland Cavaliers. This is based on the strength of one player. LBJ has one player on his entire team that I might consider coveting if I was drunk enough, and that’s gimpy ol’ Booby Gibson. But LeBron could’ve gotten the Miami Heat to the playoffs if he and Dwayne Wade were traded one-for-one.

8. Golden State Warriors. Baron Davis, according to my fellow Str8ballers, is destined for an injury in the next years. They use this as an argument that the Warriors would be better off, if forced to choose between the two, to keep Monta Ellis instead of the Baron. They’re wrong, but that’s an argument for another time. The best player not to make the All-Star team is capable of outplaying any point guard in the league on any given night. He might not be able to guard them, and Ellis frankly should, but this team doesn’t play defense! Doesn’t matter. They’d be a 3 seed in the East.

9. New Orleans Hornets. Chris Paul will be force to reckon with for years to come, barring injury, and one would hope that his supporting cast would continue to improve. But Bonzi Wells isn’t going to work out: they play team ball, and he couldn’t spell team if you spotted him the “T-E.” Still, C Piddy has 40 point games in him, and there still isn’t anyone in the league who can guard him.

10. Phoeniz Suns. Amare Stoudamire has been cleared for landing in this league. He’s going to get you 30 and 10 from the power forward, and that might be enough when the outside shot is falling. You do have a large weight on this team dragging it down, but Shaquille O’Neal is passing up scoring opportunities I didn’t think he was capable of declining. Nash and Amare are still a potent twosome, but they still can’t guard anybody. Getting rid of Marion was still a huge mistake. Maybe Steve Kerr can trick someone else into trading Shaq for someone who can play defense.

We’re lucky enough to have Pi day fall on a Friday. So, get as drunk tonight as you would for St. Paddy’s.

So no upsets so far, unless you think Houston being Houston is going to be a surprise …

(1) Celtics vs. (4) Cavaliers:  So here is the round where we see if LeBron’s new supporting cast is good enough to match a stacked team in a seven game series. They will at the very least have to win one game on the road. Their road record is 16-19 so far, 6-10 against teams .500 or better. I liked what the guys doing the game for TNT last night said when they pulled up the number of wins the Cavs had when trailing entering the fourth. They brought up the fact that Cleveland was 15-24 when trailing, which means that they have been trailing in 39 games this season entering the final quarter. Over half the games. So let’s look at the matchup:

Guards:  Boston has Allen and Rondo, with Eddie House, Cassell and Gabe Pruitt off the bench. The Cavs counter with West and Pavlovic starting, and Daniel Gibson, Devin Brown and Damon Jones off the bench. The Celtics have the edge in starters, but Pavlovic can get hot from outside. The health of Booby and the play of Devin Brown will play a large factor in this matchup, but I still like Rondo too much not to tip the scales towards Boston.  Advantage:  Celtics

Frountcourt:  The Celtics start Pierce and KG at forward, Perkins at center. Coming off the bench at forward are Posey, Big Baby and Leon Powe, with the occasional Scalabrine sighting. The Cavs have LBJ and Wally at forward, big Z if he’s healthy at center. Their bench consists of Anderson Varerjao, Joe Smith and Ben Wallace. The Celtics can match up well against the Cavs, better than before, because there is no real low-post scoring threat for him to worry about. With the flight of Gooden, Ilgauskas provides the points and Wallace and Varejao pick up rebounds. Except that nobody on the Cavs can guard KG. He can move to center and allow Big Baby and Powe to run the 4, and they’ll still outplay whoever is guarding them. Joe Smith is a nice shooter, but no big improvement over James Posey. Paul Pierce owns Wally Zczerbiak (who from now on will be refered to by me as ZCZ), and will do a decent job guarding LeBron. Factoring in an amazing performance by LBJ doesn’t overshadow all of the deficiencies of their front line in this matchup.  Advantage:  Celtics

Prognostication:  The Celtics take the first three games. LeBron puts up 55, 12 and 10 in the fourth game and the Cavs squeak by in the fourth game. Boston cleans up its business at home, where their 29-4 home record is second only to Utah.  Celtics in 5.

(2) Pistons vs. (3) Magic:  So with the Cleveland LeBrons out of the running, let’s see if Orlando can pull off the upset.  The season series is tied 2-2, with both the Pistons and the Magic stealing one in the other’s building.  The matchup:

Guards:  The Pistons start the Dynamic Duo at the guard position, but their bench is a couple of youngsters (Stuckey and Afflalo) and Juan Dixon.  This is a sizable improvement over last year’s backups, and this has allowed Billups and Hamilton to get more rest.  Both of their minutes are down from last year, and they’ve only missed a combined 3 games this year compared to 17 last year.  Orlando starts Jameer Nelson and Keith Bogans, and brings Mo Evans, Dooling and J.J. Redick off of the bench.  Don’t think I really need to go into details on this one.  Advantage:  Pistons

Frountcourt:  The Pistons go deep.  Prince and McDyess start at forwards, with Sheed starting at center.  Their bench starts with Maxiel and Jarvis Hayes, and goes to Theo Ratliff, then Amir Johnson, then Walter Herrmann … They might have one of the best little big guys off the bench in Maxiel, and Ratliff is still averaging 2 blocks a game, albeit in 16 games.  As long as Jarvis Hayes doesn’t shoot any more threes, they should be good.  Orlando counters with Turkoglu and Rashard Lewis at forward, and Superboy at center.  Their bench consists of Brian Cook, Adonal Foyle, and then a bunch of scrubs to pick up tiny minutes.  Orlando’s big three average 38 minutes a game, so this might not be that much of a problem.  The problem is that Tayshuan Prince was tailor-made to take out guys like Hedo.  Rashard Lewis would need to step up huge, and I have a hard time seeing that happen.  Can Detroit contain Dwight Howard?  They can throw enough people at him.  Detroit’s team defense can prevent him from getting the touches necessary for a 40-point game, so Sheed won’t have to worry so much about playing the kind of defense he used to play when he was with the Blazers trying to stop Shaq.  Frankly, I don’t know if he still can.  Maxiel’s energy and athleticism tip the scales.  Advantage:  Pistons.

Prognostication:   Detroit gets whatever it wants offensively from the perimeter, penetrates, maybe even gets Howard into foul trouble.  Orlando is depending on monster games from their big three, and Tayshaun will be able to neutralize either Lewis or Turkoglu.  That means the other one has to be able to take on a bigger role.  Superboy will show up, but it won’t be enough.  Pistons in 4.

Stay tuned for Western Conference, Round 2 …

Lysol

My favorite quote was when Shaq asked Craig where he got his suits. “Man, that suit is horrible.” If memory serves me correctly, I think he offered to take Sager shopping.

There’s still lots of time for Shaq to hit Sager with a harder diss. Wait and see, I guess.

Lysol

Slightly less important than what you’re drinking, but slightly more important than those nuts you really shouldn’t be eating … god knows how old they are … anyways, I seem to have lost my point. Oh yeah …

So what are your arguments at the bar? Your buddy is bringing some weak shit in his NBA talk, and you need something to come back with. But you’re probably too drunk to remember anything more than a few simple stats …

Fun facts about how much better the Western Conference is than the Eastern Conference:

1. Boston has a bigger lead on the 2nd seed, Detroit, than the Lakers have on the 8th seed, Golden State

2. 9th seed Denver would currently be running 4th in the East, with a game and a half to spare over Cleveland

3. 5th seed Toronto trails Boston by 17 and a half games, a full game more than Sacramento trails the number one team in the West, the Lakers

4. Golden State has 40 wins, meaning that they could win only 4 more games and finish 44-38. Eastern 8th seed, New Jersey, would have to win their remaining 17 games to reach that record.

5. Miami, currently so far out of the reach of the playoffs that their players are waiting for the NIT selection show, ISN’T TECHNICALLY OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS IN THE EAST. They certainly would be in the West; in fact, a team with nearly twice as many wins as the Heat will probably be the fourth team in the West to lose all mathematical hope of the second season after Golden State abuses Phoenix tonight.

6. The West has twice as many teams with winning records (10) than the East (5).

7. Boston is one game away from clinching their division. Detroit has 6 games, Orlando 8. In the West, Utah has a 4 game lead, the Lakers 3, and don’t even get me started on the Southwest. New Orleans is a half game away from being in a three-way tie with Houston and San Antonio for the lead of that ridiculous division. And Dallas trails the lead by only two and a half games. And mind you, these are all teams with records of .683 or better.

8. Speaking of winning teams, there isn’t a division in the East that has more than two of them. Each division in the West has at least three.

There, that should be good. Just remember who gave you the good word …

Lysol

P.S. Look for the first edition of Lysol’s Danger Rankings!  Coming this Sunday once all the games of the day are finished …

So, I was toying with the idea of trying to rank the hottest gf/wives of NBA players, and lo and behold, EBSports has a buttload of the significant others.

What did I learn, some players are MVPs, and some need to spend some time in the D-League. (all photos courtesy EB Sports Blog)

MVP

J-Kidd’s new lady, hope she has a strong chin.

Sarunas Jasikevicius

Grant Hill

Carlos Arroyo

Peja

and of course, Marko Jaric

I was going to take a dig at some of the less attractive ladies, but I’ve decided against it. Go to EB Sports Blog and decide for yourself.

- Drop a line to zstr8balling AT gmail DOT com

Photo: (AFP/Getty Images/Jay Directo)

One of the reasons I don’t buy the Utah Jazz is that they’re wretched on the road (14-19), and they lived up to their record by losing to the Bulls last night. Over on BlogaBull, a commenter sums up the game nicely.

Last night we were killing the Jazz in transition in the first half. They can run, yet prefer the half court set on offense, but they don’t defend the transition very well. Okur is slow. Boozer isn’t a solid defender so he fouls to stop breaks. There bench really drops off in transition defense. Kirilenko and Brewer are the only guys that can really defend the transition on a consistent basis.

Of course, you can’t even exploit the transition without solid defense. Defense is crucial, but the scouting on the Jazz is wear them out after getting defensive stops so they are too tired to effectively employ their offensive transition. Wearing them out will force them to fall in love with the half court set. The more half court sets they run the greater the rate of turnovers.

Sports by Brooks says Steve Nash doesn’t really care if wins an NBA title. I really hate it when athletes say that. On one level, you understand that some players just want to have fun and CTC. But god damned it, don’t tell me that. Lie to me Nash, lie to me.

The Celtics blog shows Paul Pierce some love, and Garnett says P-squared is the MVP.

The Sonics aren’t getting much state love to keep them in Seattle.

My folks live near Houston, and they’re saying there’s a palpable buzz about these Rockets as the chase their 20th consecutive win. It’s really amazing to have a team run by Skip to my Lou blazing through the league. Say what you will about the weak schedule, it still takes some heart to win every night. Of course, Lysol still has them dropping in the first round.

It looks like Andrew Bynum is making some positive steps towards returning, thanks to an “anti-gravity” treadmill. If you’re curious, you can pick one of those up here.

- I’ll try and not rip off Truehoop’s format too often, drop us a line at str8balling AT gmail DOT com

- Marin